How Marriage "Coaches" Are Leading Christian Singles Into Deception

“Attract” a Godly Man

I have noticed a growing trend in “marriage coaching,” where Christian single women, primarily in their late twenties to early thirties, are encouraged to pay for consulting or one-on-one coaching that promises them a godly husband within a specific timeframe or through a particular attraction method. Some taglines include:

• “Get married within (X) months with my coaching program!”

• “Effortlessly attract your husband when you stop waiting and do this…”

While I am not against biblical counseling on dating and marriage, I want to warn others that such guarantees trespass against the Lord’s timing. Seeking marriage through any gateway other than divine alignment and His appointed timing leads to unknowing participation in witchcraft and manipulation, which ultimately brings destruction down the line.

How Do I Know This Marriage Coaching Is Counterproductive?

Signs of Soulish (Witchcraft-Like) Marriage Consulting or Coaching

• Claims to use godly principles and scripture, but the business itself does not point to God.

• Leads a person to seek marriage from a place of insecurity rather than faith.

• Plays on internal doubts and frustrations, undermining trust in God's ability to direct your steps.

• Encourages reliance on personal magnetism rather than seeking the heart, will, and pathway of God.

Though these so-called "Christian" marriage consultants use the Word of God to justify their methods, the deception lies in the misplaced focus: attracting a spouse becomes the primary drive in life, rather than seeking the kingdom of God first. This is dangerous because any pursuit that takes priority over God becomes an idol.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)

When I think about seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness, I imagine actively pursuing a deeper understanding of the heavenly kingdom I belong to. It is like moving to a completely new country—as a new citizen, you would have to adapt to its ways, customs, laws, and ordinances. The same applies to the kingdom of God. We pursue His kingdom by getting to know Him and His ways; only then can we understand how His kingdom operates in our lives and how we are to function as His ambassadors.

“He raised us up with Christ, the Exalted One, and we ascended with Him into the glorious perfection and authority of the heavenly realm, for we are now co-seated as one with Christ!”
Ephesians 2:6 TPT

Being seated in high places with Jesus Christ means we are ruling beside Him and with Him. As co-heirs, we have access to the entire kingdom and its benefits. With this mindset, nothing is off-limits. Within His divine and appointed timing, we will be paired with the man or woman God has ordained for us so that we can fulfill His kingdom agenda.

When we live in constant pursuit of God, we also pursue His righteousness. But what does it mean to pursue righteousness? Scripture says a lot about being in right standing with God, but Psalms explains it best. Under the subheading "Who Comes Before the King?" the scripture states:

“Those who are clean—whose works and ways are pure, whose hearts are true and sealed by the truth, those who never deceive, whose words are sure. They will receive Yahweh’s blessing and righteousness given by the Savior-God. They will stand before God, for they seek the pleasure of God’s face, the God of Jacob.”Psalm 24:4-6 (TPT)

In essence, seeking God for who He is brings true fulfillment in every area of our lives. This aligns us perfectly with His will. Then, His desires become our desires—including important life decisions like marriage.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalm 37:4 (NKJV)

This does not mean that a man or woman should not desire marriage. However, if marriage becomes a higher priority than pursuing God wholeheartedly, it becomes an open invitation for the enemy to lure us away with temptations, counterfeits, and distractions.

One of the enemy’s signature attacks is making something appear good and holy when, in reality, it is the opposite. Any gospel, advice, or counseling that encourages following personal desires and bringing things forth by our own hands is not rooted in His truth.

“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
James 1:14-15 (NKJV)

The key is to guard ourselves from being drawn away by our own desires and instead become locked into the Lord’s desires for us. When we are deeply connected to His heart and pursuing Him for who He is, the enemy cannot find a foothold to lead us astray.

Signs of a Biblically Sound Coach or Teacher for Singles

On my journey of approaching singleness from a Spirit-led perspective, the Lord has shown me what to look for in teachings, books, and equipping courses. Spirit-led coaches will always:

• Direct you back to God, emphasizing that He alone is your source of fulfillment.

• Encourage you to be in a position of prayer and faith, taking action to know and walk in your destiny.

• Provide insight into possible areas of soul healing and guidance on moving on from past traumas.

• Motivate you to pray in alignment with God’s will and trust in His perfect timing.

Godly coaching should inspire a sense of hope and renewal, not desperation or fear. You should feel encouraged and emboldened to step into your destiny with confidence and absolute faith.

I want to encourage you today: if you are seeking godly advice or wisdom on how to prepare for marriage, the Lord will give it to you. When we ask for wisdom, He is delighted to provide it.

Can I tell you something? Before I ever found a single course or video, the Lord Himself gave me specific instructions. None of them included constantly praying for a husband. Instead, He led me to chase after my destiny and pursue His heart for my life. So far, the desires of my heart have been met in ways I never could have orchestrated on my own.

Believe in Him! Get to know Him for who He is, and watch how it transforms your life.

Let’s pursue Him together!

Laura Corinne